I am up and cant sleep I am having a major fibromyalgia attack. Just touching my body hurts the pain is almost unbearable. I was diagnosed with this strange disease in 1980 when no one knew what it was. I went to an arthritis Dr. who said it was a little known disease that they were just learning about.The cardiologist I went to said it was a womans excuse. What ever I have something that makes me have pain all the time and flareups that put me down.And old lady problems, you know what I mean, aches and pains from nowhere. The things we did as young people are now coming back to haunt us.Osteoporosis,( bad spelling) , and just general worn out joints and body.

You look back and view your life and what you have achieved in all these years you have been here.And some days you ask why am I still here. In the last 10 years I have been very ill several times have died 3 times and was revieved, spent 6 months once and 3 another in  the hospital.I have had so many abdominal surgerys I cant  have much left in there. I just keep pumping along .I keep saying god must have some major plan for me. What to become more of a burden? My  granddaughter is my saving grace thank god for her She sees to my very need although she has 2 little ones to care for also, and now we just found out she has colon cancer at 31.Lord I cant stand for many more trials in this life. I am so devastated. So much for my pity party at 4:30 in the am.I am sitting here wide awake drinking my tea and thinking I have shed a lot of tears now is the time to put on my big girl pantys and dry my eyes and be strong for her.

 I think I will go work on my quilt for awhile and maybe I will get sleepy and catch a little more sleep.Thanks for listening to an old womnans problems and fears This is suppose to be a quilting blog but so much more goes on in our lives and we need to vent to someone . Today has to be better than yesterday have a blessed quilting day Dottie      

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Replies to This Discussion

Dottie I am so sorry that you have to go through these things. I hope your day gets better. Go quilt something beautiful or not beautiful. Sometimes tortured pieces are beautiful in their own right. Try to smile and know that at least one person will be thinking of you today.

dottie I assure you your finro is not a WOMAN'S excuse. my HUSBAND has it. he is in constant pain and I know it's real because he even cries out in his sleep. he is on so much medication that I don't understand why his heart don't stop. I have often wondered if it's a true result of the effects of candida.  hope you feel better soon.

Dottie...  I agree with Connie, know that someone is thinking of you today.  

dottie i am so glad to see other responses here. i read this @ 4:30a this morning and started to respond. morning is a time of pain and stagering till pills kick in. then decided i would go off on a tangent about my pain and issues. detract from the agony you were sharing with us here. it's personal. i have CFIDS. diagnosed 18 years ago after a couple of years of extensive testing and ruling out things like rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. tho one doc insisted we were getting "false negatives" and continued testing very 6 mo for few years. i finally said no more. but these two great physicians never once suggested it was women issue. one i was referred to by a fellow member of pain support group i was attending. other my long time personal doctor & former co-worker. he had studied and worked w Fibromialgia & CFIDS for several years and decided to drop out of that area of treatment studies. he said that they are sooo complex. so difficult to treat, & that he didn't have enough work years left, before he retired, to get into it any deeper than he had. pain is a constant, unremitting companion. carla, i know what you mean about hubs crying out in his sleep. my hubs & i now sleep in seperate beds. he said i woke him all night with my twitching and crying out. he was so apologetic..i told him it's ok. i wake myself up too. bad enough to have sleep disorder and then when sleep finally comes...i have sharp pain spasm and wake up.

dottie, there are a few of us here who have fibro & cfids or who have family, friends or loved ones. there is now medication for treating the debilitating effects fibro. i am hoping that there is something on the horizon to help w the multiple issues of cfids - exhaustion after simple trip to grocery store. i am sick all day after going to my beloved quilt group meets. so i frequently don't go at all. it is just two more days that i don't get the necessary work done that i need to do around here. fever, burning, skin pain, headaches, extreme all over deep muscle pain, muscle weakness etc etc etc. a whole constellation of flu like symptoms. why i just call it my "forever flu" ..everything except the snotty nose :))

i am not suggesting that we start a group for we who suffer from these two debilitating diseases. but i think it is good to know, at least for me, that we are not alone. there are others here who understand and empathise w what you are going thru. we here at My QUILT Place, hosted by American QUILTERS Society are QUILTERS ... we are a loving, careing & supportive group of QUILTERS. we share our joys our QUILTY accomplishments patterns and ideas. we are all here to offer shoulders to lean on, a sympthetic ear and prayers to each and every one of us. i was going to say we are QUILTING sisters...but that would unfairly exclude our fine & talented QUILTING gentlemen like david, bobbie, orville and others.

thank you for feeling comfortable enough here among us now, that you were able to share your morning agony & heartbreak. i hope they caught it early enough, that the prognosis is good for your beloved grand daughter. we are all praying for you both.

Thank you all so much I appreciate the kind thought and words. Rouge the list you went through how accurateI have all of and the snotty nose I have so many allergys . I am always saying I have forever flu.   Just going to church on sunday makes me tired for 2 days. and I am tired of being tired all the time. The everlasting fatigue is enough. pray for my granddaughter she refused treatment. says shes not going to live with a colostomy. I am so upset. I am hoping she will change her mind. she has 2 children 3 and 8. A nd a long life to live if she gets treatment. One bright thing in my life my youngest son has a new job after being out of work for a year he has a new job thank the Lord. So some of my stress is relieved , we stress over our children and grandchildren, although we think we aren't . It is always there for all mothers.have a blessed  quilting day Rouge and I will pray  for som comfort for you my friend Dottie

thank you dottie. i hope you had a more comfortable day yesterday and was able to get some quilting done. sorry to hear of your grd decision. she made it w knowledge as she had cared for you when you had one. she also is aware that it is sometimes, dependent on type, placement & extent of involvement - reversable. they may have told her hers was not. difficult to judge someones decision making process when we aren't standing in their shoes. i did no quilting yesterday. HAVE to finish a pipe project. so i cut pipe, glued my sections, started the digging of side trench for an extension i want to add to existing line that i am replacing w new pipe and sprinkler "t"s. ran out of glue. was going to be short of pipe. so switched to the gravel cleaning/collecting & leveling projects i also have going. and munched on cherry tomatoes all day :)). the more work i get done on garden area now will mean the more likely that i will have a real honest-to-goodness garden next year. the pipe is not part of garden project, i found it when when i was digging roots out from old groundcover that i am removing because of the damage it is doing to shade trees. i will plant my herbs there on south facing slope when done..so redesigning pipe layout there for drip lines or sprinklers
.....an
d then had one of worst nights in long time. hands burned and ached. i burned and froze. sleep was a long time coming, but finally exhaustion or somethin' kicked in and i got a few hours of sleep. but today as bad as sunday was. i am pushing harder than i should, i know. i know i should go slower, pace the work a bit better. rest more between heavy work days. but this has to be done so i can bury the lines and blow whole two irrigations systems down for winter. it is steep slope & i have been undecided about best way to deal w the whole area. i need water to it. what was there went elsewhere. then it looked like they spliced in a couple "t"s for a drip as an after thought. dunno. a mess. thought about just taking all out. after watching the area and sun movement amount of shade from trees, finally came up w a plan. and then lost a lot of design & work time to a seemingly endless stream of unexpected visitors. after i finish this line, then i can back off a little. do some sewing in between days spent working in the basement. still have all the "good stuff!" that hubs had the heater guys leave down there and that HE (hubs) has never hauled out. got a good day or two of work doing that, then start prep for floor leveling and all the other things that go into working on an unfinished basement to make it a nice living space - & while i live here :)) ...my sewing/crafting/knitting/hand quilting etc etc etc space :)))

hope this finds you having a "good" day today!

Dottie, your granddaughter needs your example and you need your granddaughter...so you 2 have got to forge ahead together. You are obviously a very persistant woman...if your granddaughter learns anything from you at all, let it be how to survive!

 

Hi Dottie - I am so sorry hearing about your granddaughter.  I certainly hope and pray   she will reconsider having treatment.  Someone of that age would have difficulty dealing with a colostomy, but I would think that would not be a permanent condition, and in time would be reversed one the cancer is cured.  Oh my, this is a heart breaker.  Please keep us posted re. her situation.  And I hope and pray that you too start to feel better.  I too have fibro, and severe arthritis in both thumbs and wrists-the pain really drags you down, as you all know, and Rogue, I see my rheumatologist next month and plan to explore with her the possibility of now having CFS - just can hardly make it through the day any more without having to go back to bed to rest.  I used to be such a go-go type of personality, sure not that way anymore and I miss feeling good so much that it is very depressing for me.

 

By chance, I just discovered this new group today.  Haven't been on this site for a long time. Am a member of Addicted to Quilting and Favorite Tools, but lost interest when ADTQ  seemed to, more or less, become just a site for photos of quilts. Please don't misunderstand me , I love  seeing photos of quilts and marvel at the beauty and work of them, but had hoped for more info as I am a relatively new quilter.  (Haven't even tried to make triangles yet, they scare me to death.)  So I am thrilled just to talk to quilters, and share our lives a little.  I don't talk to my friends much about how I feel, because all of them are super healthy, and I feel they hate listening to an old woman's health problems.  I may not contribute a whole lot  - more of a reader than a writer, but reading here today just made my heart sing.  But now, when I can't go back to sleep, I won't read any more about politics, but will jump on this site to see what is new. 

 

A little about me, retired realtor of 22 years (burned out beyond description), live with my  of almost 50 years and 3 dogs in Glendale, Az - he is a veterinarian who now only does surgery two mornings a week.  We have two children and 5 grands, and they all live with 5 miles of us.  Our son is a single dad of 2 boys (10 &12) - they are at our house 3 mornings and afternoons before and after school.  Our daughter has 3 children 2 girls ( 17 & 15) and a son (13) who suffers from ADHD and an aggressive disorder.  I love to quilt, of course, golf and play bridge.  My golf days are going to be far and few this season because I'm going to have to have surgery on both hands, but not until after Christmas - I have to make quilts for two of the boys. 

 

I so look forward to  visiting with all of you over time.  My very best to you and let's just keep stitch'in away.  Marcia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Dottie - I was so saddened to hear about your granddaughter.  I hope and pray that she reconsiders her decision to not seek treatment.  I would think the colonoscopy bag would be a temporary think.  Some times the very young

 

 

 

 

 

 I had a ostomy bag for awhile and Liesa struggled with me over it so she knows what it is like. Hopefully she will change her mind in a few days after praying about it and considering her children.

Marcia I am so gl we all discovered each other here what a relief for people who were at one time so alive and moving fast in this world to be halted  by health problems. If you are having carple tunnel surgery don't fret I went to a surgeon 100 miles from home and coming home I was cutting out quilt pieces. My sweet hubby of almost 30 years supported my quilting but couldn't understand why I cut all this beautiful fabric up and sewed it back together haha.

triangles that is the subject you can buy paper that you take 2 pieces of fabric facing each other and sew little lines like a maze and when you cut it apart on the lines you have perfect little triangles. I will never make them the old way again. Will post a site to buy them or I will share mine with you. You can buy a whole bag of the paper in several different sizes. I just made a quilt out of nothing but 1 1/2 inch triangles and it wasn't bad at all finally learned how to make intersections fit. Edyta makes triangle quilts she trades them all over the world I think a triangle swap would be great fun and we would all get some practice making them.

I love applique and so that's what I do the most of I make an applique quilt usually as comnplexed as I can then I make a couple of pieced ones to relax and play and learn. .

I am so glad these ladies now my new friends like to share life as well as quilting I makes my day not so lonely.So good mnight ladies. have a blessed quilting night Dottie

Good morning dear Dottie - thank you so much for telling me about the paper for triangles.  My DH gave me an Accuquilt Go for our 49th wedding anniv. and one of the dies that came with it has the ability to cut small triangles (2"). He gave me this because I have ganglion cysts on both wrists.  When I cut a lot the one on my right hand swells and fills with a thick, clear gel like substance.  It is very painful and I have to drain it before I can continue.  I haven't tried cutting triangles yet, and still look for patterns that use squares and rectangles. Not very venturesome -I have been quilting for 3 years, and am very slow. 

So today I am going to start cutting strips for one of the quilts for my grandson.  I use the Go to cut the strips, and then I have to cut them down to appropriate sizes needed.  And I am guaranteed straight, accurate strips.  It takes a little longer, and uses more fabric, but wow- it sure helps my wrists.  Guess the surgeon will take care of that when I have the operation to clean out joints in my thumb.  But I am waiting until I finish the two quilts for the boys to have the surgery.

Hope you have a good day - Marcia

Good morning Marcia.  I have never used an Accuquilt Go, nice to hear from someone who has one and how they like it.  Wonderful that it helps your wrists.  The ganglion cysts don't sound too good.  Hope they don't cause a lot of pain.  Our grandson has trigger thumb on both hands and is having surgery next week.  He will be in casts for a week.  At 2 1/2, it could be an interesting week.  Hope your surgery goes well.

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