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Comment by viki hagan on October 16, 2012 at 1:14pm

thanks, rogue..she has lots of support so that's good, I really hope she gets past this and finds a truly happy new life

Comment by the rogue quilter on October 16, 2012 at 12:59pm

he was a programmer. well that is seriously bad news. my son, senior software engineer w computer company has shown me things to do to bring up alternative scripting etc...our little playthings, our computers, have capabilities, hidden program stuff that we will never use. and i don't know why.

i should probably not say this, because there are always two sides blather blather blather...but..i think i would be standing right next to you cheering on whatever your endeavor to reduce hime to a teeny tiny pile of rubble.

wow...condolences on your sisters' loss...and congratulations on being on the threshold of a new & happier life.

Comment by viki hagan on October 16, 2012 at 12:57pm

thank you pat, I hope she finds the joy she's been missing too. Her husband wasn't bad to her, but he could have been a heckuva lot better.

Comment by patbruck on October 16, 2012 at 12:53pm

Viki,gotta love when Karma comes around,may your sister move on with her life and find happiness.

Comment by viki hagan on October 16, 2012 at 12:29pm

Yes, unfortunately he was very controlling of their finances and other things.. the encryptions on his computers will not be easy to break, he was a computer programmer.. luckily one of the men he worked with is coming to help her with them, so maybe she will get in. She went to their bank to see how many accounts they had, the bank manager told her 7, she had no idea he'd opened a bunch of other accounts to squirrel money into. Luckily he did have life insurance, so she doesn't have to make drastic changes immediately..but if he wasn't dead, I'd kill him all over again for putting her through this.

Her girls all live close to her, which is a blessing and curse in one. They all think they know everything, and the oldest is only 25. But at least she isn't alone and our other sister and one brother live nearby as well. That man always made me angry when I'd see him with something or other he'd done and now this. I still can't believe the house was not paid off with his death, when I bought both of my houses it was a standard rider, I didn't even have to ask for it, it was just there. Crazy.

Comment by the rogue quilter on October 16, 2012 at 9:24am

that is so true! when we first got married...my controller took over my chainsaw, automotive tool box and the finances. two years later i took back the finances. his big thing was no savings accounts. !!! .. asked him why..."because it makes your money too hard to get out of bank..... well DUH! lollol i had never heard such a lame remark before. so i set up secret savings...even forged his signature on the paperwork...i am good at that :)). on a job reassignment later...we had trouble finding a house...finally found one to rent, he says...well now we can get out of the motel...but how are we going to put down the fees for the house to get in it? i said no problem...i had a cashier check in my possession that would be more than enough. he was sooooo surprised..i said and that is why savings accounts are hard for you to get money out of...so there IS money for times like this. years later we srill have a savings account, investments.

but i never got my tools or my chainsaw back! lollol

Comment by patbruck on October 16, 2012 at 9:04am

Viki,sounds very familiar to me about the story of your sister.If it wasn't for me getting insurance we would never have had any.My other half never wanted to take out insurance on anything.When you say damm men,know what you mean.Sometimes I wonder why we women put up with all the crap that we do.Very envious of people that have happy marriages and respect one another.

Comment by the rogue quilter on October 16, 2012 at 9:03am

that was to read "no matter the love they shared" .... guess i will just sip my tea and listen to the wind.

welcome home...

Comment by the rogue quilter on October 16, 2012 at 9:01am

micki nailed it...some people just will not give up control. how sad, & how unfortunate for your sister. if there is money in the bank to payfor the service...yes, there are proffesional computer gurus w special software that will break any simple encryptions on late husbands computer. most home pc users do not have the knowledge or skill set to develope sophisticated, difficult to break codes.

that said...my heart goes out to your sister for her loss. may she get thru this w your help...and i bet, no matter the they shared...from what you said, her life will be more satisfying w/o someone controlling her.

where are the kids...are they there for mom too?

Comment by Karen Lightman on October 16, 2012 at 7:38am

Wow Viki...my prayers to your sister. I bet if she paid a geek they could break into all the financial stuff on the computer. As for working again...I hope she is a little bit computer savvy.  I know you're glad to be home : )

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